What on Earth Am I Here For?

           I’m reading the “Purpose Driven Life” right now and I’m on my 25^th day. I’m glad that I’m reading this book because I’m learning something each day. Four years ago, I had that feeling that I was born by accident. But when I was reading this book I felt better since it says that my parents may have not planned me but God did. I am who I am for a reason. I’ve realized so many things, some of my questions (in this life) were answered. Then I came across this line, “Love cannot be learned in isolation and Life without love is worthless”. Buti na lang it doesn’t solely talks about the “love life” thing because if it does, so meaning my life is worthless?ganun lang yun? It is loving the unlovable, loving the irritating, selfish, nonsense, plastic people around us.  Who says it’s easy? But at least were trying to love and understand these people. In my journey, I’ve had my heart broken and I had broken some hearts too (ang ganda ko lang :D) and either way it is not a pleasant situation. But it’s a good learning experience.  But the most important thing I’ve learned is how to love myself more. You cannot give what you do not have.  How can you love people and how will they love you in return when you do not love yourself. Befor, I always gets insecure by the mestiza type of girls, while me? ..the forever morena. But hey, I don’t need to be white to be pretty. I know there are lots of white girls around the world wishing to have my color so why would I change the way I am.  Now, I’m happy and Love myself for who I am (I hope I didn’t sound narcistic :D). But yes, you should love yourself more coz’ God made you for a greater purpose. And if there’s one thing that’s hard for me to talk about was Forgiveness. I know that forgiveness must be immediate, wether or not the person asks for it. And I always believe that I’m a brave person but there are problems I’ve run away from, problems that I pretend that doesn’t exist and problems that I’m afraid to talk about. So that isn’t a brave thing right? As believers, God has called us to settle our relationships with each other and right now, God is calling me to restore my relationship with some people. After my mother died, my life has been in chaos. I had to face everything alone. It wasn’t easy. I don’t know what happened to lead us where we are in our relationship. There are so many bad things that have said about each other, there are pain, anger, hurt and ill feelings. Who wouldn’t want a healthy, harmonious relationship? I want that and I miss the old us. But one should take the first move. I know you’re going to say, It should be...ME! I know right? But everytime I think about it, my heart is in tears as well as my eyes.  Jesus has been through a lot but He has forgiven us. I’ve been through a lot but I can’t forgive those people who have hurt me. I can’t forgive them right now. I felt like ang sama-sama ko namang tao because I can’t forgive. But I want to. I’m still praying for it. I want God to take all the pain, anger and bitterness in my heart so I can totally forgive them. Time heals all wounds and In time God will heal our broken hearts.