Life is a series
of problems! Every time you solve one, another is waiting to take it’s place.
Not all of them are big but all are significant in God’s growth process for us.
When my mother died 3 years ago, the problems and responsibilities she’d left behind
has caused the greatest growth in me. I have to think less of myself and to
think more of my family. My mother’s death was the darkest hour of my life. I
felt a part of me has died and cannot be revived. I even thought of committing
suicide (don’t panic, It was just a thought), that day I felt, the suicidals
might have felt when they chose to end their lives… ..…LONELINESS, BETRAYAL,
ANGER, HOPELESSNESS, UNLOVED….I believed in God and I fear Him, so there’s no
way I’m going to end my life no matter how big or difficult the problem may be.
It’s good to have Godly friends to share your struggles and frustrations in
life. We all need spiritual partners to pray for us, encourage us, support us
and love us unconditionally. I’m blessed with great friends and I hope they’ll
stay with me until the end of my story. God comforts us in all our troubles so
that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give
them same comfort God has given us. God has a purpose behind every problem. He
sends us trials not to impair us but to improve us. Experience is the best
teacher and we have been shaped by our experiences in life, most of which were
beyond our control.
God has given
each of us the ability to do certain things well. He doesn’t waste abilities,
He matches our calling and our capabilities. I love being a Nurse! When we love
what we do, no one has to motivate us. My job requires a lot of patience (when
our patients starts to scream on us and don’t appreciate the things we do),
long hours of standing (to make sure that our patient needs are met), sleepless
nights (on calls, shifting schedules & because we wanted to make sure our
patients are comfortable in their beds). We want our patients to be OK (even if
at times we are not), we take good care of the sick (even if we are sick
ourselves) and we still go on duty (no matter what troubles and problems we’re
going through) coz’ if not, WHO are going to TAKE CARE of you?
But don’t you
know I never wanted to be a nurse? I even discouraged my friends to take up
Nursing when we were in High school. In fact, there was a point in my life that
I HATED NURSES. A nurse was at fault of my younger brother’s death. She’d given
my mom the wrong medication that took my brother’s life and put my mother’s
life at risk. My mother named him JOHN, but I wanted to call him MARK (don’t
let me explain, I forgot the reason why J
). I didn’t took up nursing for revenge, of course not! I was 8 years old at
that time. But look at me now, I’m a registered nurse and I sooo love my job!
Maybe God wanted me to understand and totally forgive her of what she’d done to
our family. It’s not easy to be a nurse, there’s a lot of responsibilities and
risks involved. And I pray that wherever she is, she’ll find peace in her heart
and I hope she’d forgiven herself.
The book “The
Purpose Driven Life”, made me walk down memory lane and to fully understand why
things happened the way they do. In John 3:17, God said “You do not realize now
what I’m doing but later you will understand”. If there’s any possible
consolation in the tragedy of losing someone we love, it’s the necessary hope
that perhaps it was for the best. Our greatest lessons come out of pain and God
keeps a record of our tears.
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