Journal of Lessons Learned

“There isn’t enough time to learn everything in life by trial and error. We must learn from the life lessons of one another.”

                God formed every creature on this planet with a special area of expertise. Each has a particular role to play based on the way they were shaped by God. We are a combination of many different factors; our spiritual gifts, abilities, our heart, personality and experience.

•  Spiritual gifts - Each of us has been blessed with spiritual gifts. We need to discover that gift (if we haven’t discovered it yet) and develop because an unopened gift is worthless.

• Listening to our Heart – Your heart reveals the real you, your heart determines why you say the things you do, why you feel the way you do and why you act the way you do. You should listen to your heart because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what you’re thinking about life and about the world. A good heart is at the root of nursing. It wasn’t simply for the money (well, at first t’was everyone’s reason why they took up nursing) but we have learned to love and embrace our profession. Long hours of duty, sacrifice and the pain and suffering of others come with the job. WE, Nurses have that strong desire to help people, to comfort, to heal the sick and provide essential aid. In return, we just want to see you smile and a simple “thanks” is more than enough.

• Applying your abilities – We have dozens of hidden abilities that we don’t know we’ve got because we’ve never tried them out. You will never know what you’re good at until you try. We are not that old to stop experimenting, to try new things and explore life. Deep water fear? Try scuba diving! Afraid of heights? Try the highest zip line! Oh! It’s not suicide, its facing your fears and having fun.

• Personalities – Your uniqueness is a scientific act of life. There never has been and never will be anybody exactly like you. We are what we are for a reason. Sometimes there are conflicts, misunderstanding and problems that arise because we have different personalities. Just imagine if we are all alike, I guess Earth would be so boring.

•  Life Experiences – People are always more encouraged when we share how Gods grace helped us in weakness. Everybody has times when they feel like Gods just not there. But He is always there, always bringing you closer to Him.

    You will be most effective when you use your spiritual gifts and abilities in the area of your heart’s desire and in a way that best expresses your personality and experience. Let us all be a blessing to all the people we meet. We never know how our stories can affect their lives. We are wonderfully complex. We are uniquely different from each other. And we all have things that were good at and not-so-good at but together we fill each other’s gaps. We have different stories to tell, different experiences day by day, chasing different dreams and crossing different paths. I want to hear your stories too! What makes you mad and makes you sad, what makes you smile or makes you cry. What are lessons you have learned in life? I want to learn from it too. I want to be a part of your story, as you have been a part of mine. I keep a track of my happiest moments, the bad days, the sweet nothing messages, the memorabilia’s of the past, and life’s lessons. I write everything I feel and think in my journal and in my blog, as a reminder of how God have shaped my life and blessed me and hoping that somewhere, somehow I can inspire others with my own experience. Sharing your experiences can help others. As Aldous Huxley said, “Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. “

EXPERIENCE IS YOUR BEST TEACHER

Life is a series of problems! Every time you solve one, another is waiting to take it’s place. Not all of them are big but all are significant in God’s growth process for us. When my mother died 3 years ago, the problems and responsibilities she’d left behind has caused the greatest growth in me. I have to think less of myself and to think more of my family. My mother’s death was the darkest hour of my life. I felt a part of me has died and cannot be revived. I even thought of committing suicide (don’t panic, It was just a thought), that day I felt, the suicidals might have felt when they chose to end their lives… ..…LONELINESS, BETRAYAL, ANGER, HOPELESSNESS, UNLOVED….I believed in God and I fear Him, so there’s no way I’m going to end my life no matter how big or difficult the problem may be. It’s good to have Godly friends to share your struggles and frustrations in life. We all need spiritual partners to pray for us, encourage us, support us and love us unconditionally. I’m blessed with great friends and I hope they’ll stay with me until the end of my story. God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them same comfort God has given us. God has a purpose behind every problem. He sends us trials not to impair us but to improve us. Experience is the best teacher and we have been shaped by our experiences in life, most of which were beyond our control.

 God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well. He doesn’t waste abilities, He matches our calling and our capabilities. I love being a Nurse! When we love what we do, no one has to motivate us. My job requires a lot of patience (when our patients starts to scream on us and don’t appreciate the things we do), long hours of standing (to make sure that our patient needs are met), sleepless nights (on calls, shifting schedules & because we wanted to make sure our patients are comfortable in their beds). We want our patients to be OK (even if at times we are not), we take good care of the sick (even if we are sick ourselves) and we still go on duty (no matter what troubles and problems we’re going through) coz’ if not, WHO are going to TAKE CARE of you?

 

But don’t you know I never wanted to be a nurse? I even discouraged my friends to take up Nursing when we were in High school. In fact, there was a point in my life that I HATED NURSES. A nurse was at fault of my younger brother’s death. She’d given my mom the wrong medication that took my brother’s life and put my mother’s life at risk. My mother named him JOHN, but I wanted to call him MARK (don’t let me explain, I forgot the reason why J ). I didn’t took up nursing for revenge, of course not! I was 8 years old at that time. But look at me now, I’m a registered nurse and I sooo love my job! Maybe God wanted me to understand and totally forgive her of what she’d done to our family. It’s not easy to be a nurse, there’s a lot of responsibilities and risks involved. And I pray that wherever she is, she’ll find peace in her heart and I hope she’d forgiven herself.

The book “The Purpose Driven Life”, made me walk down memory lane and to fully understand why things happened the way they do. In John 3:17, God said “You do not realize now what I’m doing but later you will understand”. If there’s any possible consolation in the tragedy of losing someone we love, it’s the necessary hope that perhaps it was for the best. Our greatest lessons come out of pain and God keeps a record of our tears.

What on Earth Am I Here For?

           I’m reading the “Purpose Driven Life” right now and I’m on my 25^th day. I’m glad that I’m reading this book because I’m learning something each day. Four years ago, I had that feeling that I was born by accident. But when I was reading this book I felt better since it says that my parents may have not planned me but God did. I am who I am for a reason. I’ve realized so many things, some of my questions (in this life) were answered. Then I came across this line, “Love cannot be learned in isolation and Life without love is worthless”. Buti na lang it doesn’t solely talks about the “love life” thing because if it does, so meaning my life is worthless?ganun lang yun? It is loving the unlovable, loving the irritating, selfish, nonsense, plastic people around us.  Who says it’s easy? But at least were trying to love and understand these people. In my journey, I’ve had my heart broken and I had broken some hearts too (ang ganda ko lang :D) and either way it is not a pleasant situation. But it’s a good learning experience.  But the most important thing I’ve learned is how to love myself more. You cannot give what you do not have.  How can you love people and how will they love you in return when you do not love yourself. Befor, I always gets insecure by the mestiza type of girls, while me? ..the forever morena. But hey, I don’t need to be white to be pretty. I know there are lots of white girls around the world wishing to have my color so why would I change the way I am.  Now, I’m happy and Love myself for who I am (I hope I didn’t sound narcistic :D). But yes, you should love yourself more coz’ God made you for a greater purpose. And if there’s one thing that’s hard for me to talk about was Forgiveness. I know that forgiveness must be immediate, wether or not the person asks for it. And I always believe that I’m a brave person but there are problems I’ve run away from, problems that I pretend that doesn’t exist and problems that I’m afraid to talk about. So that isn’t a brave thing right? As believers, God has called us to settle our relationships with each other and right now, God is calling me to restore my relationship with some people. After my mother died, my life has been in chaos. I had to face everything alone. It wasn’t easy. I don’t know what happened to lead us where we are in our relationship. There are so many bad things that have said about each other, there are pain, anger, hurt and ill feelings. Who wouldn’t want a healthy, harmonious relationship? I want that and I miss the old us. But one should take the first move. I know you’re going to say, It should be...ME! I know right? But everytime I think about it, my heart is in tears as well as my eyes.  Jesus has been through a lot but He has forgiven us. I’ve been through a lot but I can’t forgive those people who have hurt me. I can’t forgive them right now. I felt like ang sama-sama ko namang tao because I can’t forgive. But I want to. I’m still praying for it. I want God to take all the pain, anger and bitterness in my heart so I can totally forgive them. Time heals all wounds and In time God will heal our broken hearts.

CHOICES and CHANCES

"Life is filled with a bunch of choices and we just have to pick good,better or best."

As we grow older, we always find ourselves looking for a purpose, our own identity and life's meaning. The unstoppable search for the unknown. And if we arrived at that moment,when our dreams had been shattered or achieved, when things had been found, when chances had been lost and the choices made was thought to be the best. There may be a few regrets and you might say these words,..."that things happen for a reason", "this is my destiny",...but we should always bear in mind that "WE" are the ones who made the CHOICE,.."WE" are the one who lose some of the CHANCES given in our lifetime. So before making the CHOICE and letting go of that CHANCE...take a moment to PRAY & ask the Lord's guidance.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"

Jeremiah 33:3

"may mga bagay na binabalewala at kinakalimutan ng utak ngunit pinapaalala ng puso"

I don't know why I cried last night when I've found out that my friend is leaving. I know that it his dream to be there in Italy, preparing himself for priesthood. I have no problem with that since his dream,is also my dream. I want him to be happy whatever path he take. I was just sad that he will be sooo FAR AWAY.. Actually kahit dito naman sya sa pinas parehas lang kasi di naman kami nagkikita.That's why I don't know what this tears are for... :c,for the past 7 years,we've seen each other once. Thanks to technology we've created a wonderful friendship! I wanted to talk to him last night,wanted to hear his voice for the last time his here in phil. ...and then suddenly my heart beats so fast,I felt weird! It's the first time I felt this way,calling someone with a loud beating of my heart.But nah,I haven't heard his voice last night,maybe he was busy packing up his things. I shouldn't feel the way I do,its not right. Our friendship is one of the most important thing in my life right now. I don't wanna wake up one day knowing we're not friends anymore...whoaah that would be sad. It pays to be honest but sometimes there are things we have to lie about especially when it comes to the matter of the heart. Love makes every thing in this world a whole lot complicated. There are times I'm tempted to tell him how I feel, but everytime I wanted to, I think about our friendship...

 This morning I got a call from him, that made my day. Before I answered the phone there goes the heartbeat again...tachycardia(lubbdubb,lubbdubb) He is leaving tonight & maybe next year he will be ordained. hows that? But in my heart of hearts,its an unattainable love...my blue rose :)

In his journey, in the new chapter of his life...my prayers will always be with him. My faith is telling me we're going to meet again...ONE DAY! ;)

HAVE YOU SEEN IT?

There goes my heart,its leaving me

Shall I hold it?or set it free?

Have you seen through my heart, the feelings I have for you?

Have you seen through my heart,the sadness felt coz you're about to go...

Will I tell you or will I tell you not?

I'll close my eyes and dream of you

And in my dreams I'll be wishing you want me too...

I have seen through your heart that I am just a friend

I have seen through your heart that you have made a vow

and keeping it till the end...

Before you leave and walk away

Have you seen through my heart that I really wanted you to stay?

Before you go and fly away

Have you seen through my heart

That I  love you in my own way...

ARE YOU READY???

I  was reading notes about nursing stuff in preparation for an exam in one of the hospitals here in Davao. I was thinking I can maybe recall some of the topics we had discussed before..bahala na! I'm expecting na may psychological test,yun naman parati pero naexcite ako sa isang yun..iba lng! Then when I got there,the proctor said,there's a Religion exam...In my mind, I was like OMG!!!!! hahaha hmmm... im from a catholic school sa mga sagot ko dun tsk3 sa mga profs ko..so SORRY!sobrang nakalimutan ko na ang mga sagot sa mga tanong na yun,way back in college..memorize ko pa yun! <pinagtatanggol tlaga ang sarili! :)))> Namental block talaga ako parang kelan lng alam ko yun! hahahaha hahaha Though im not a catholic haaay buti may naisagot ako..hehehe <excuses???> But if I think of it GOODNESS...twas so easy! Kahit nakapikit you can really answer those questions...I should have memorize it by heart! haaay..kakaloka! nakakawindang ang mga sagot ko dun..out of this world heheheparang nagbayad lang ako nang ISANG DAAN sa sinehan para sa isang nakakatawang KAranasan! Twas FUN indeed! but its also a WAKE-UP CALL...I maybe know a lot of things here on earth but its sad to realize i knew little things about GOD or HEAVEN :( Kung magma-madre ako..naku for sure bagsak ako talaga...At kung entrance exam yun papuntang langit,wawa namn ako maiiwan dito sa lupa...:)) Kung ikaw ako??? MAsasagot mo ba ang mga tanong na eto....
    what are the 7 sacraments?different feast of Mary?pag dec,aug. & january?sacrament before becoming a priest? the diff. season/celebration?Vicar of Christ?4 gospels in the new testament?1st 5 books of the old   testament?when to call a priest & when to do baptism & how?(hospital setting)--->dito nagunaw ang mundo ko hahaha wala lang,idea ko yun!walang basagan ng trip..di ko na rin ikukwento :D

      If you're going to take the exam,masasagot mo ba?oh,I'm sure perfect ka!haahaha and what if GOD will be the Interviewer??ARE YOU READY??? if not be ready and read your bible :)

Blessings ",)

Life wasn't really easy especially without my mom around. It's hard! very hard...up until now I'm still hurting but I’m tired of crying anymore. I don’t wanna think of it so much coz I don’t want to recall the pain and how much it hurts. I never thought I would pass the exam coz I lose focused during the review. And one week before the exam, I cried every day. The pain is unbearable that I wanted to die during that time. I'm just thankful that my friends are there to comfort me.  I'm thankful to my family & friends who’s been always there for me. They were there to understand and support me. Thank you so much. Your advices and kind words was my strength to still go on and never gave up.  Passing the board exam was such a great blessing. It has been my light that leads me out of my darkest moment. I’ve kept myself busy and it helped me forget my problems for awhile. Moving on isn't really easy. It's always easy to say but I’m still in the process of letting go, forgiving and forgetting. I have to be brave to face all the struggles, pain and trials that may come along. I have survived the past few months; I believe that I can go on for another months then years... It'll be difficult but with God's guidance I know I can make it.

In life we have to stumble and fall so we can learn how to get up. We need to be strong, determined and love every minute of our lives. So many people walk around with meaningless life, they seemed half-asleep when they’re busy doing things that they think are important. We shouldn’t waste every single minute chasing the wrong things instead we should find something that gives us purpose and meaning. Life is really difficult, it is extremely disrupting. There are lots of problems and lots of bizarre things. Life was never that easy. Every day we face loads of problems in our workplace, home and relationships. There are times when we almost wanted to give up. But we always have to remind ourselves that we are never given problems that we can’t handle. Problems, trials, hardships in life, it builds something inside us. It keeps us strong, it gives purpose to life. During the most trying times of our lives, at this moment we knew ourselves better. We begin to realize a lot of things, we start to discover the hidden strength that we have and the talents that long been hidden. We will never realize how strong we are until trials appear, we will know what happiness meant until we’ve cried a lot and we will never appreciate success if we never worked so hard. Sometimes we fail to appreciate the little things we have in our lives because we’re very busy looking for something else. We are never contented of what we have, because we are always searching for more. Big things are never complete without the smaller ones. Learn to appreciate every little thing you have because you’ll never be complete without it. We may never understand the things that are happening to us right now, but later we will understand and everything will be made clear. Everything always happens for a reason. In God’s time, we are going to understand why things happen the way they do. In every step we take and every decision made, there will always be a reason behind. Mistakes and regrets are normal part of life. Mistakes make who we are. If we didn’t commit any mistake, we will never able to learn what we had to learn. Avoid the trap of looking back unless it is to recall a lesson learned or to glory what we had accomplished. There’s no use looking back because we can never undo the past. We should live for NOW and for the future. We should bear in mind the lessons learned from our mistakes to avoid repeating it over and over again. A mistake done twice is already a choice, right? Our lives are shaped by every obstacle that comes our way.

Here's a song that would remind us that there is a GOD,who loves us unconditionally... :)